To Be Alone
by fire-emblem-girl
Summary: Last chapter is up. What will happen between Erk and Priscilla?Anything at all?
1. My Lord Brother

To be alone. (Rewritten version)

This is, as the title states, not my original fan fiction. As stated in my profile my computer got a virus and my fan fiction was well for lack of a better word, screwed. So I am rewriting it but it might not be exactly identical to the other one but I shall make do. It will still be in Priscilla and Erks pov and it will still start off one-sided Pris/Raven. However like I had said previously, it will change. It may end up Raven/ Lucius at the end or someone else; I have no clue as of yet. It is all how the reviewers react to the pairings. Well, without further ado, here is the first chapter of my rewritten fic!

Chapter 1:My Lord Brother

Priscillas pov.

My lord brother has returned to me! My escort and I were travelling into Laus when the Marquess son, Erik requested that I come to his castle. I refused of course, I had heard of other girls being taken by that man and politely declined. However, Erik would not take no for an answer and I had to send Erk, my escort to a nearby town to request assistance. When he did not return after a couple of days I assumed that the villagers from the other town would not help Erk and I. That is when the men and women of "Eliwoods Elite" arrived. They came in and defeated Marquess Laus son and once again made it safe for the citizens living in that region.

I soon met the Lady Lyndis of Caelin and her band of knights called "Lyndis Legion". The Lady Lyndis is a very nice woman I have heard and the stories are in fact true. She is a truly strong woman; I do quite admire her for that.

Soon after meeting Lady Lyndis we continue to Caelin Castle to rescue her grandfather who is still trapped inside. That is when I see him, My Lord brother. Raymond. I am so happy I can barely stay in the saddle of my mount. Mark, the tactician sees me fidgeting and asks why I am not paying attention to the battle. Mark is an easygoing man usually, but when it comes to battle he is truly terrifying! I tell him to order that no one approach the mercenary with red hair. Mark does not ask why it is that I request that but he allows me to ride up to Raymond.

"Brother! Raymond!" I cry. He winces slightly at my call. I do not know why. Have I done something wrong? Have I angered him?

"Priscilla…"

"Brother! I truly thought I would never see you again!" I say happily. I can barely contain my excitement. I am so very happy. Now, everything will be as it should be, with me at Raymond's side always.

"Priscilla. Do not remember that you have seen me here. I am no longer your brother."

"R-Raymond? Why? Why do you say such things? You are my brother. I cannot forget you," I reply. I can feel tears flooding my eyes and I look down so I will not embarrass myself.

Suddenly Lord Hector runs by. "Hey! What's your name!…Priscilla! Hurry up would you? It's a battle remember? I don't want you to get hurt because you're distracted…Mark told me to say that!"

The rough looking man rushes offwhich leaves me alone with Raymond again.

"What are you doing running around with the likes of…_him_? He's the one that's dangerous," Raymond says darkly.

"I have joined the Lord Eliwoods band of mercenaries. Lord Hector is one of the other nobles that are helping him find his father. He's really not-"

"…He is the one who…Very well Priscilla. I will join this group…even if it is only to get at that Ostian Lordling…" Raymond says almost menacingly.

"…Raymond…"

"My name is no longer Raymond. It is Raven now," he mutters. That was the end of our conversation. I had not seen My Lord brother in so long and now…he disliked me.

My Lord brother has returned to me, but I feel more lonely than ever.

Well, that's the first chapter rewritten. I know it is a bit different and there is actually dialogue as opposed to almost none in the original but I think it went well. Hmm don't know if I like it as much as the original…ah well. Cest la vie. As a result of some things not happening in this chapter that did in the original I guess that either, I will need to make the chapters longer or, the fan fiction will over all be longer. I wouldn't mind if the fic was longer it isn't like I dislike writing it so I will probably make it upwards to about 20 chapters maybe? Or close to it. Well, I will try. I will aim for around 15. Who knows? It might end up only ten or so… not sure. It all depends. Yes, well enough of my banter.

Matthew: Yes! Finally! Read and review please! Oh yes, and no flames! If you flame, she will ignore you and I will steal your posessions!


	2. Only Her Escort

To Be Alone Well, this is the second chapter. I have gotten 2 reviews! Reviewer responses!

Random Reviewer: Thank you so much for your words of wisdom! I know. My description is hardly adequate. It is a weakness of mine. I did not interpret you review as flame don't worry! I hope you continue reviewing in the future!

…: Nice name lol. Anyway, the main point of the story is to 1: As you said show Priscillas feelings for both Erk and Raven (love triangle!) and 2: torture Erk. No. Actually it is about both of them realizing that they like each other and admitting it rather than you know, denying it and scolding themselves for it as you will see Erky will be doing that a bit in this chapter. Thank you for your reviews everyone!

Chapter 2: Only Her Escort.

Erks POV.

Lady Priscilla seemed ill at ease tonight at dinner. She barely spoke a word to anyone throughout the entire meal. It troubled me so I asked if there was anything I could do to help her. She assured me nothing was wrong, that she was simply weary from a long journey that…there was no reason to worry about her. I wanted to protest and say it is my duty to worry for her safety. Except, I didn't. I remained silent. I am only her escort. In any case, she has that man, her brother, Raven to take care of her now. I look into her eyes. They have an expression that shows that she is more than just weary but I cannot say anything. I do not have the right to ask her. She does not seem to notice Raven talking to the acolyte Lucius. Perhaps she does not want to notice. Is that what is causing her so much grief? This man? Her brother?

She stands up and walks out of the dining hall. Another chair scrapes as Raven breaks of his conversation with Lucius and follows her. I want to do the same. I want to get up and run after her, to be the one who comforts her when she is sad. _Erk, pull yourself together. You are in service to her. You cannot have such thoughts about your employer!_ He scolded himself mentally. Despite having the feeling everyone is watching me I feel nothing when I too get up and stride out of the dining hall. Serra almost follows me but some unlucky soul gets her attention and she turns to pester them.

The night air hits me like a slap. I had been inside the warm dining hall so long the cold fall air felt colder than it probably was in reality. It doesn't really matter; I don't mind the cold really. The camp around me is hastily set up but that is only because we need to be able to pack up camp quickly if needed. That doesn't really matter either. It could be worse. Sure, it's nothing like my accommodations with Lady Louise and Lord Pent but that is to be expected. We are living in tents most of the time except when we can get rooms at an inn. That rarely happens anymore. Everybody knows who we are and they either refuse to put us up or they do but we are swamped by visitors and barely get any sleep. I am not particularly fond of people knocking on the door in the middle of the night asking if I would trade them rooms for the rest of the night.

The wind blows again and I wrap my cloak around myself a little tighter. Perhaps it is colder than I thought tonight. The dirt road that leads around the camp is hard under my feet and I continue walking at a fairly brisk pace as to get out of the cold. I see Priscilla on the road ahead. She does not seem to have any other destination other than her tent. I had hoped that she would go somewhere _other _than her own tent. I couldn't follow her now. It was not…honorable? I cannot remember all the rules that Lord Wallace told me about being knightly. I do not think I should have to worry seeing as I am not a knight employed to a house of Elibe but I will humour the man for now I suppose.

_Speaking of knights…_ I think as I spot Sir Kent and Sain coming towards me. They are engaged in another one of their arguments. Of course Kent is calling Sain a lout and about every word he can think of to describe his behavior. From what I could hear the green haired cavalier had been at the local tavern trying to get girls to go out with him…again. How one man can be so obsessed with women is beyond me. I do believe he has had enough ladies to last him many lifetimes. Well, perhaps not. None of the girls in the group seem to be particularly fond of his behaviour.

I continue to walk down the path until I reach Canas tent and mine. I know the shaman is in there only because I can see the light from a candle burning inside the tent from under the entrance. He is a new recruit but we have become friends fairly fast. Well literally, instantly. He was only recruited today and I am already sharing my tent with him. It is only because we both enjoy reading and are not likely to dislike each other seeing as we are usually wrapped up in a book and never really speak that often.

I walk into the tent and of course Canas is sitting on his bed reading a large book. How he can stand to read any sort of book with that manacle of his I will never know. It falls out from time to time but he just puts it back in and continues where he left off. I do not think I would be able to stand having to do that.

I walk over to my own bed and pick up a tome of fire magic of many piled on my bed and the surrounding area. I have already read it many times but one can never know their magic spells too well. Canas and Is tent is fairly roomy simply because we both have so many books which Mark figured we should have room for. I have to say I agree with him and it is simply on the grounds that we mages, shamans, and monks need our books to fight. If we had no place to put them well, wouldn't be able to find them when we need them. I try very hard to concentrate on the words on the page but I can't. The words all seem to blend together. Kind of like Lord Hectors attempt at a meal… I do not want to recall that particular incident. I believe that half the camp including Serra was ill for a few days afterwards. I cannot say I felt sorry for Serra. If I said I did I would be lying. It is horrible but it is true. As a result of Hectors cooking our meal cook Lowen, was unable to make anything for us to eat and Rebecca had to fill in for him. Neither Lady Priscilla nor I trusted Lord Hector to cook for us and we decided to forgo that night's meal. Of course the only reason Serra had to at least try Hectors cooking is because she is in service to House Ostia. In fact, any of the group that was employed to Lord Hector was sick. He no doubt threatened that they would be out of work if they didn't.

Canas sees that I am struggling to read a simple book and asks if I am in any sort of trouble.

"No. There is no trouble. I just can't concentrate," I answer thinking how stupid I must sound the entire time I am saying it.

"Mm. Yes, it is quite irritating when that happens no?" He replies with a small smile.

He does not look up however. I never quite know what to say when he asks a question then add no at the end of it. Is it a rhetorical question? How am I supposed to answer again? It is truly a sad day in the history of intelligence. I cannot even carry on a normal conversation with a companion. I simply nod in response to his question.

" Perhaps if you talked to the person you could concentrate?" He asks. Another strange way to ask a question…why can't he just recognize I am being stupid at this moment and speak to me like he speaks to Bartre?

" T-there is no person involved…"I lie. Very badly might I add.

He simply smiles again and goes back to giving his book all of his attention. I feel like a dolt. Lord Pent should not have agreed to teach me the art of Anima magic. It takes hard work and dedication. I work hard but I do not think I have much dedication at this point. Lady Louise would say I am overreacting. She would say " Erk! You shouldn't think that way! You have surpassed everybody's expectations and just for doubting yourself I'm going to make you go outside right now and…and…do something other than study!" it makes me smile to think of Lady Louise. She is always so cheerful and makes even me laugh. _Stop thinking about them. They aren't here now. You have to wait until you have another break to go back to Eturia. Then you can see Lady Louise and Lord Pent. Only then. After you have successfully escorted Lady Priscilla to her destination. _

Lady Priscilla…she is what is causing my lack of focus I think… S_he is fine. Lady Priscilla can take care of herself just fine. Honestly. She has Rebecca in her tent with her. Why are you worrying about such silly things? Elimine… I need to see her maybe…_no. Not tonight. I will see her tomorrow. I cannot think about her all the time. She is my employer. Nothing more, nothing less. I am only her escort…

Well that's the second chapter. I think it went fairly well. I tried to describe the surroundings more…I didn't do a very good job, I know. I will work on it I promise! Hmm… is Erk a little ooc? I don't really know. I'm up for any suggestions you may have! Did I mention that I will be switching povs every other chapter? I think I did… lol Canas is in this chapter! He wasn't really supposed to be a major/minor character in it nor was the story of Hectors cooking in the original… ah well. Tell me whom you would like to see in the latter chapters either that if you don't want to leave a review telling me just email me! It's in my profile so yeah! Next Chapter: Priscillas Pov. Uh oh…I made a mistake…Canas isn't supposed to be here yet! Oh jeez. Ok…let's just say…this chapter takes place kind of after you recruit Canas but before you leave for the Dread Isle. I should probably should have added something in about Fargus but I will do that when I'm in Priscillas Pov. Sorry for the disorganization of everything… anyway…

Matthew: Read and Review please!


	3. Departure

To Be Alone.

Yes! it is the third chapter! I know I said I would have up to the 5th done by the end of the week but I had much math homework. Ok, I know what you are saying. Who cares! It's not our problem you have homework! Take responsibility! Either that or. Who cares? Why'd you make _another _chapter for this fic! I will tell you why. Because I am the author and I want to so I shall! I haven't gotten any reviews for the 2nd chapter yet so no reviewer responses. This chapter will have some course language to let you know. This chappie will be done in Priscillas POV yet again so yeah. On with the fic!

Chapter 3: Departure.

Priscillas POV.

We have just left the lively port town of Badon. It was not without difficulty we managed to get a ship. We had to reach Captain Fargus at the dock in order to have usage of his boat. Now, we, "Eliwoods Elite" are on a journey to a horrific place aptly named the Dread Isle. It is a nice boat complete with well…I do not know all the parts of a ship so I shall say it has everything.

As I stroll down the deck the wind whipping my red hair into my face I see the myrmidon Guy. He seems quite sick. Seeing as I am a healer I go over to see what ails him.

"Ugh…damn boat…why'd we have to go across the sea?" he mutters to himself. I approach hesitantly. Guy is known to have quite a temper at times especially when it comes to Matthew.

He is leaning over the edge of the boat gripping the railing with white knuckles, his green braid flying in the wind.

"…G-guy? Are you alright?" I ask quietly. Why am I so nervous around him? I doubt he would seek to hurt me intentionally. Besides, we are allies.

" Does it look like I'm alright?" he snaps. He turns around and looks me straight in the eye. Then, recognition. "Oh, Priscilla… S-sorry… I…Oh, never mind."

The myrmidon stammers and flees the scene on shaking legs. I cannot help but laugh. Guy is…he is what? I cannot think that. My Lord brother would be furious. I do not think I shall speak with Guy again unless absolutely necessary.

I continue walking along the deck until I reach the very edge. I look down at the churning sea. The blue and green of the water. Soon I lose myself in those waves. Unlike Guy I do not get sick from watching the sea. It calms me.

I feel someone tap on my shoulder. It is not a light tap like a girl would do nor is it like the kind that Erk does. I turn around. It is Raymond, My Lord brother.

"Lord Brother!" I cry. He has finally decided he will speak with me? It fills me with joy to think that, I hope he is going to ask the question I want him to.

" Priscilla. Do not call me Lord brother. If Lord Hector finds out…I will never be able to avenge our parents, and all of Cornwell," Raymond, no, Raven replies.

Do not call him Lord brother? How can he say that? Why? I realize I am standing there with my mouth open not saying anything.

Raven stares at me with those eyes of his. They are neither red nor brown. They are almost a mixture of both. He has changed. Changed from the brother I used to have. The Raymond I knew would not have asked me not to address him as I used to as a child. I do not know why he has changed so…

I can almost feel the hatred coming off of him. Not of me. Lord Hector, he is the reason My Lord brother has changed. I cannot help but dislike him if only a little. Part of me is angry and wishes to join Raymond on his quest for revenge, the other part, wishes things would be as they were before, that… none of this had ever happened. But it had. Whether I liked it or not, my brother, would attempt to kill Lord Hector. I could not let it happen. I could not let him. I could not let Lord Hector take away my brother! I could not let my brother kill Lord Hector. Tears are running down my face. I can feel them, hot and salty sliding down my cheeks. How could I have let this happen? How could I stop it from getting any worse?

"Priscilla. Stop it. Why are you…" He says. He cannot even ask a whole question of me now?

I look at the floor. I feel the boat lurching under my feet. I hear Raymond…walk away.

I do not know how long I stand there for. Standing, on the deck, weeping for something that can never happen. I can hear the others walking along the deck. They cannot seem to even see me to hear me. I feel alone. Then, _he_ comes. Erk. He looks at me, takes my hand and brings me back to the cabin Rebecca and I share. He doesn't know what to do, I realize. Should I tell him to leave? Or ask that he stay? No…My Lord brother. I cannot abandon my Lord brother. "

Lady Priscilla. Do you feel ill? Would you like me to get Serra? Or Lucius?" He asks in the same voice he always uses.

"…Lucius if you would…I must speak with him…" I answer but don't look at him.

I can sense his brown eyes are on me. I can almost see the expression on his face, without even actually seeing him. His purple hair falling into his eyes, head slightly tilted downward, his lips don't turn down in a frown but they are not upturned either. It is how he always looks. I do not think I have ever seen him smile or laugh. He has always been too concerned with his studies rather than how he looks. I suppose that is why the Lady Louise, Marquess Reglays wife has always took care of that. I have only met her once but I like her.

I want to tell him that I need him to stay with me always, not to protect me, but because he…no… I cannot wish such things. I hear footsteps as Erk leaves the room. I nearly begin to cry again. He has left me too. _You asked him to. He would have stayed had you asked him that._ A voice tells me. It is true. He would have. But, it is too late. I have asked that he fetch Lucius and I cannot run out and tell him to come back.

Rebecca is not in the cabin I realize. I had wondered why the green haired archer had not asked what was wrong. I look around our cabin. It is small but not cramped. I do not like to sleep below deck, I would much rather sleep on the deck above but I know Sir Fargus would never allow it. Apparently it gets quite cold during the night. Cold enough to kill a person that was not dressed for such weather.

My side of the cabin has books of healing magic, neatly piled in one corner while Rebecca has bows and arrows and feathers everywhere, not to mention various things to cook with. She and Lowen are always competing in cooking contests to see who is the best cook in the group.

After a few more minutes the door opens. I look up and see Lucius. He is dressed in his normal monk clothing and has his hair, as always, down. He smiles and walks over.

"What seems to be the problem Lady Priscilla? Young Erk said you were feeling ill."

"And he's right… I am. My Lord brother, I feel he does not wish to go through with the promise he made to me. That he would marry me…" I answer feeling tears spring to my eyes at just the thought of my brother not keeping his promise.

" Oh Lady Priscilla, do not worry about such things. He promised you. I assure you he would not lie about something such as that. Lord Raymond loves you very much," the acolyte says. His bright blue eyes are kind. I have known Lucius for some time; he would not lie to me.

I nod. Somehow, I don't fully believe all of Lucius' words. Like, he is only telling half the truth, leaving things out for someone else's benefit. I shake those thoughts from my head. It is wrong to think that Lucius would lie. He is a monk. He is unable to lie. Still, a feeling of unease has a hold on me. I hope that my feelings are only a result of an over active imagination.

* * *

Well I guess I'll end it there. I don't know if the fic is going to end up raven/Lucius. If you have any thoughts on it then you'll have to review! Priscilla is so confused well, that's puberty for you I suppose! Ha! Anyway, how do you think I did this chapter? Was my description ok? I hope so. Anyway… next chapter I hope will be the battle on the ship…in other words chapter 17: Pirate Ship. It may be called that in the fic. I don't know. Chapter names aren't exactly a major thing. But, yes. Read and Review! 


	4. Pirate Ship

To Be Alone.

Well, it appears I have gotten another review from my dear friends Rachel and sam!

Rachel-Sinfield: yeah, it's kinda hard to follow the story if you haven't played the game…but if you need me to explain anything regarding the story, you know my email.

aki yasha: thanks for your review, lol...yes, i love erky.

Well, last chapter was in Priscilla's pov. So this one is in Erk's! Yay! More torturing Erk with Priscilla! So, without further ado (love that.) on with the fic!

Chapter 4: Pirate Ship.

Erk's POV.

I was sitting in my room, reading as usual when someone on deck was making a fuss over something or other. Canas sighs and tries to return to his reading. Lady Lyndis is yelling something like "I knew there would be bandits!" I cannot clearly hear her over everyone else screaming and running along the deck above me.

Mark comes tearing into Canas and mine's room speaking incoherently about something… Oh! We have to fight now. Honestly, Mark needs to learn how to speak when he is frantic. Well, at least in words known to humans anyway.

He doesn't think it is wise I come along to this battle. I cannot say I am not a little disgruntled at that. Yes, I will have time to catch up on my studies but if I have no hands on experience how will my studies serve me in battle? I do not say anything to Mark however. I stay in the cabin while Canas leaves to go fight. He seems somewhat annoyed to have to leave his book whereas I am the complete opposite. I want to test my studies in battle. Perhaps Canas has grown tired of seeing how all his books help him while he fights.

I sit on my bed and sigh. Would Priscilla be in this battle? Probably. She is a troubadour after all. The entire group needs her. Besides, most prefer her to Serra. I cannot help but worry for her safety. She seemed upset only yesterday when she asked for Lucius. I didn't go back. I couldn't. I returned to my cabin and sat there wondering what was wrong with her. I didn't ask her. It is not my place, nor my business.

Priscilla… are you safe? Are you staying close the person instructed to guard you? I pray to Saint Elimine that you remain safe in this battle.

As soon as the battle has ended I go above deck to see if you are alright. I cannot find you. I cannot see your red hair. I look for you; I would look for you forever if I had to. Lady Priscilla…what I would give to see you. I think I may look a little frantic to the others. Searching for you. It is always about you Lady Priscilla. I have an unsettling feeling in the pit of my stomach. Are you injured Priscilla? …Are you dead? Priscilla… I… I think I am…in love with you. Love? How can that be? But as I think about it, loving you, I know that it is true.

I stand there, stunned. I cannot believe it. Serra comes over and pokes me. I ignore her for once. She finally gives up and leaves me standing there. It starts to rain but I don't feel it. Then suddenly I remember, where are you Priscilla?

My wet clothes stick to me; my purple hair is matted on my head. I feel better than I have in days realizing that I'm not crazy, realizing that I want to be by your side forever. I run to Captain Fargus and ask him if he has seen you.

" A girl with red hair eh? Nah, haven't seen her. Now get outta the rain you dolt!"

I thank him and run off again. I hear Fargus laughing at me as I run away looking for you. I nearly fall at least twice but I keep going until I reach the cabin that holds the injured, the dead, and the sick. I scan the room for any sign of you. I see a flash of red hair. I recognize that hair. It is you. Lady Priscilla.

You are lying in a bed, bandages wrapped around your torso. Your brother, Raven, is at your side. I freeze. I cannot go near you while he is there. I glance around the room again looking for someone, anyone that I can talk to. Lord Hector no. Florina no. There is no one for me to at least look like I'm visiting until your brother leaves. In defeat I return to my cabin.

The soft pitter-patter of the rain on the deck is the only sound I hear besides my own footsteps. When I finally get back to my cabin Canas is sitting on his bed reading.

I'm cold. Some of it is from wearing wet clothes, some of it is from finding that you are hurt and I can do nothing. I wish that I could sit there a your side and tell you how I feel, that I never want to leave you. But I can't. A wave of despair washes over me. Priscilla… Will I ever tell you? _Can _I ever tell you?

I sit on my bed and lay down. I curl up and lie there, wishing for something that is almost impossible. I want to cry. I don't though. Canas is here; I am a disciplined student of Lord Pent. I don't cry.

"Erk, is something the matter?" Canas asks.

I don't answer. If I do, it will give away my feelings. Instead of replying I continue to lay there in my own sadness. I know it is stupid to lie her wallowing in self-pity but I cannot stop. You, I have failed you. I am your escort. I am supposed to protect you! I am only your escort…I am not your brother or Lucius. I'm your escort. A person you pay to protect you then when you don't need protection anymore you throw them away. It is not supposed to happen. I am not supposed to fall in love with you. This is all wrong…

Canas is standing in front of me now. He seems worried and is talking to me. I cannot hear him; I don't want to hear him. Finally he leaves. I don't know where he is going.

Cold. I'm so cold. I think I'm shivering but I don't know. I lay here all alone. Always alone. Unless you are here. Lady Priscilla. Please, get better. Don't leave me alone. I would rather die.

Canas returns. I stare at him blankly. He has Lyndis with him. She walks over and kneels down beside my bed.

"Erk? Are you alright? Do you need a healer? Serra would be glad to help you I'm sure." She asks worriedly. Why did Canas go get Lyndis? Is it because I traveled with her for a time?

I shake my head no. Priscilla… I don't know if I said that out loud or not. Lyndis looks at me and smiles.

"Is that what this is all about? Priscilla? Erk, I had no idea," she says smiling wider. I look at her. Why is she smiling? Does she think you are funny in some way? I don't have a clue. Canas smiles too and goes back to his book.

"Come on Erk. I'll take you to see her. She just got injured," Lyndis says that same smile still on her face.

"Raven…"

"He's not there anymore. Lucius took over watching her. Come on," she says and stands up.

I move to get out of bed, my feet touch the floor, I stand up for a moment and pass out. Darkness…

* * *

Yes, well that is the 4rth chapter! I hope you enjoyed it. I know Erk is really angsty in this chapter. Maybe I should change it to angst/romance? I don't really know. I was kinda depressed as I was writing this so that's probably why Erk was like that. I know the sentences are really short. I did that intentionally. It fits the mood I suppose. Poor Erky. He shouldn't stand out in rain then lie there in dripping wet clothes! But yeah. Next chapter: the Dread Isle. Stuff goes down…people die (not main chars…) poor little brown haired thief losses his girlfriend. This fic has seriously deviated from the original one…that's ok. I like this one better. I'm sorry if this fic is strange because well, I don't particularly like romance books and I have never really had a serious "thing" well really any kind of "thing" at all so I'm winging it. But anyway!

Matthew: read and review! That comment about the brown haired thief wasn't about me was it?

Me: er…no.


	5. The Dread Isle

To Be Alone. 

Hello, hello everybody! This is the 5th chapter of the fic! Now I know some…ok none of you are asking, what? Angst/ Romance? When did that happen? I shall tell you. After I wrote the 4rth chappie. I thought to myself, Katelynn, this is not a general romance! In fact, the title does not even suggest that it is. But anyway. On with the fic, it will be more sad probably from now on. Ooh! A review!

Jinn the Master Sage: yes, I am quite fond of ErkxPriscilla as well. I will not tell you if that's the pairing it will end up, it's a little thing called suspense ha ha ha!

The oh so angry Raven will be making some trouble for poor Erky in the near future and of course leaving Priscilla alone while she's crying how unbrotherly of him!

Chapter 5: The Dread Isle.

Priscilla's POV. 

I have been told we have reached our destination. I cannot see outside, I am in the injury cabin. My own injury is healed thanks to Serra. It is that fool Erk I am with now. I was nearly asleep last night when Lyndis came in with him. I looked up and saw him pale as a sheet. I cannot say I was not worried when I first saw him. In fact I thought he had fallen ill and died. Why I thought that I shall never know. He is alive however, I am glad he is safe. I still think he is a fool. Why would someone in their right mind stand out in the rain until they are soaking wet?

I reach out my hand to touch his face, I don't know why. His eyes snap open so I pull my hand back quickly. I look away to hide my embarrassment, he is looking at me with a puzzled look on his face. I think I am blushing, my cheeks feel hot.

"Lady Priscilla…" he says almost silently.

"Erk."

I am not looking at him at all not even out the corner of my eye. However I do not think I am angry with him. I do not believe I _can _stay angry with him. He, is not someone who makes trouble intentionally. He was probably staring into space and didn't realize that it was raining. Perhaps my anger sprang only from worry. Worried about Erk? Had I been? I was too busy feeling angry to find out exactly why it was that I was angry.

He sits up and gets out of the bed.

"Excuse me Lady Priscilla." He says and walks away. I watch him go. He did not even look at me when he had said that. In a way it upsets me. Has Erk changed as well? Like Raymond? I do not want to think of that. How my brother has changed.

I stand up from where I had been kneeling and go to talk to Mark. I must ask him to put me near Erk in the next battle. I must ask Erk why he did that. About why he was standing in the rain and why he could not look at me when he had left the infirmary.

I walk down the corridor to Mark's quarters. I knock on the door softly.

"Ah! Yes? Come in then!" he calls loudly. I walk in the cabin and see Mark lying on the floor his cloak wrapped around his legs.

I don't know how to ask. _Mark, would you place me next Erk in the next battle? No, no particular reason just my own insecurities. _Perhaps not. I turn to leave but Mark stops me.

"This is about the next battle no? Very well, I'll place you next to Erk then," he says before I even utter a word.

"I…I'm sorry…"

"Why is that? Have you done something I don't know about?" he asks and finally unwraps his cloak and stands up.

"No…I just don't want to be a bother…"

"You? A bother? Never! Serra, now she complains about everything. She is easily the most demanding person I have ever worked with," Mark says with a smile. I stammer a few unintelligible words before giving up and excusing myself.

" 'Sides I was going to put you next to Erk regardless!" I hear him yell through the door.

I decide to go above deck and survey our surroundings. Captain Fargus is talking to Eliwood, Lyndis and Hector. I am not one to eavesdrop so I pay no heed to their chatter.

I walk along the deck and bump into someone. I nearly fall but recover in time to apologize.

"Ah, sorry Priscilla, truthfully I was too involved in Lord Hector's conversation to hear you walk up." It is the Ostian spy. What is his name again? I cannot remember... I do not think I have ever met him, so how does he know my name?

He seems to spot my confusion right away and smiles.

"Oh, yes I had forgotten. I have never been formally introduced to you." He says.

He has light brown hair that sticks up in some places and eyes that resemble the colour of his hair they have a mischievous look to them. _Well of course he looks mischievous! He is spy, I think… _

"My name is Matthew, spy for House Ostia and thief to all those who seek my services. Wonderful to meet you Lady Priscilla of Cornwell." How does he know I am from Cornwell? I panic for a moment then realize that he could just be guessing.

"A thief hmm? Oh forgive my manners. It is nice to meet you as well Matthew of Ostia," I say mentally scolding myself for judging another because of his occupation.

He smiles again, it is quite hypnotic, his smile. Perhaps that is how he manages to steal things from people so easily. Matthew sighs and hands me a bracelet I recognize as my own.

"Forgive me that was horrible for me to do. I can't steal something from you anyway, young master would wring my neck," Matthew says but I can tell he is not really all that sorry for stealing something from me nor is he afraid of Hector.

_How could he do that? That bracelet was on my wrist a moment ago and I didn't feel anything and now it's off._ It makes me shudder to think what else he could have gotten off of me before I had realized what was happening. I would have to be cautious when speaking with him. When I had fastened the bracelet around my wrist again I looked up but Matthew was gone as if he hadn't even been there to begin with.

I see Mark rushing across the deck carrying a pile of books to land. I realize that I should pack my things too, surely Sir Fargus would be leaving. As I turn a blast of cold air hits me and I hurry downstairs to my cabin.

Everywhere I look people are rushing around with their possessions. The cavalier Sain is of course talking with all the women.

"Oh knock yourself off Sain!" Rebecca calls from inside our cabin.

"You wound me with your harsh words lovely Rebecca!" Sain cries dramatically.

She mutters something else but I can't hear what she says. I walk past Sain who immediately calls after me.

"Oh! Beautiful Priscilla can even you not wait for your protector Sain?"

"I'm sorry, I must gather my things, we have arrived on the Dread Isle," I answer nervously.

"No, she doesn't need your help!" Rebecca yells, "that's what I'm here for."

The door creaks loudly as I open it and walk into Rebecca's room and mine. She smiles at me. She has quite a nice smile always so happy and carefree. I wish I could trade places with her. Then she'd be the one with a brother that was going to break his childhood promise and a fool of an escort. _Priscilla! Don't say that about people! Raymond is not going to break his promise! You know Erk isn't foolish too, so just stop it!_ I scold myself.

I feel guilty for even having such thoughts about them. Erk, Raven, Lucius and Rebecca are my friends, my true friends, I should not wish bad things on Rebecca, I should not think Lucius is a liar, Raven will break his promise nor should I deny Erk's intelligence.

I feel this place has already taken a hold on me, making me feel so horrible and think such nasty things about people. It seems this dreadful place has changed Rebecca as well. Normally she would put up with Sain or just ignore him completely but today she seems very angry with him. I hope that no one else falls under the spell of the Dread Isle. I cannot begin to imagine Sain or that crafty thief Matthew being angry or sad even on such an island. Perhaps these feelings will come to pass. I hope so. I gather my books of light magic and bring them upstairs.

Sain is gone from the hallway to no doubt pursue other women. I am glad for his absence, he is a nice man I do not wish to snap at him or think bad thoughts about him.

"Hector! Don't just throw your weapons on the floor! It sets a bad example!" I hear the knight, Oswin command.

"I don't care Oswin! If people are looking at me to set an example well there must be something wrong with them, I'm Marquess Ostia's lout of a brother remember?"

I have heard a similar argument between Hector and Oswin previously when Hector ran into battle quite recklessly.

"Lord Hector I am your protector and if you run into battle like that again I'm afraid I'll have to do something about it!"

I think that incident was quite funny but I don't laugh about it. No, I don't think that would be appropriate. It wasn't so much what Oswin had said it was how he said it. So exasperated and tired of having to grab Lord Hector by his collar and hold him back.

I continue carrying my books up to the deck and go down for my clothes. I only have one spare dress but it is enough. Besides, I already have a lot of books I don't need to be carrying garments around as well.

I am finished packing my things, now we must set up camp on the island. Everyone is busy. We are always busy but today seems different somehow. Perhaps it is the dark looks people are giving each other or how people aren't really talking as they work. I want to talk to someone but I'm too nervous about to approach anyone. They all seem so sad, so angry. It is the island I decide. Only half a day on this island and all ready people are feeling its effects.

If it is possible, the entire camp gets even more quiet. No one says a word no one seems to even breathe. I hear the Lords arguing in the distance. It is Hector's voice that everyone seems to listening for. Something has happened. Something horrible must have happened. Lord Hector sounds absolutely furious for some reason. Lady Lyndis and Lord Eliwood's voices are low murmurs. I don't think anyone can hear what either is saying.

"I swear I'll kill him! With my own hands!"

That is Hector, violent as always. I am curious as to what has happened and if I can be of any assistance. If someone is injured Serra or I could heal him or her.

Hector yells something else and I think I hear him say Matthew. Perhaps I am wrong. It appeared as though everyone else heard Matthew as well and turned to face the thief who had just finishing his job of stealing from someone's bag.

He smiles and shrugs his shoulders. He doesn't seem to know what is going on either or if he does he doesn't let on.

A solider returns to camp and requests that Matthew follow him to where the Lords are. The thief does a mock salute and walks away following the solider.

People don't return to work however. They want to see if they can hear what it is Matthew has done this time. Pilfering one of Hector's axes and selling it in Badon maybe? No, I have a feeling that isn't it, a bad feeling. Someone, has passed away, I can sense it somehow. My thoughts immediately turn to those of My Lord brother. Is he safe? Is he the one that has died? No, it can't be, Hector wouldn't get so angry over Raymond. Erk, is he safe? _Please Elimine, don't let Erk or Raymond be the one that has died, I beg you._

"Gather your arms men and women of 'Eliwood's Elite!' there is a battle to be fought!" Mark yells from a break in the thick forest that covers most of the Dread Isle. He quickly adds exactly who should gather their arms and who should just laze around because they wouldn't be in this battle.

I must go to the battlefield today, I am not fearful, I know I will be protected even though Erk is not in this battle. In the end I am placed next to Guy, the person I have been trying to avoid.

I do believe Mark has a knack for finding out whom I am trying to stay away from. Of course it is not such a fortunate talent for me seeing as whenever he knows he puts me right beside that person.

Guy seems nervous about something and I ask him what is wrong.

"N-nothing! Nothing's wrong at all! Saceans can't lie so I'm not lying!" he replies, his voice seems high and frightened. Frightened? Of me?

"Ok…"

Mark tells me to go over and heal Lord Hector. I cannot say I am thrilled. I am a little bit…intimidated by Lord Hector to tell the truth.

I ride over to Hector with Guy at my heels.

"Lord Hector, Lord Mark instructed me to heal you," I say quietly. He doesn't seem to hear me. I cannot say I blame him, I spoke very quietly and you have to shout to hear anything on a battlefield. I just now realize that there is no usual roar of battle. No one is yelling in victory nor breathing their last. It is so quiet it's eerie. I feel a shiver run down my spine at that thought.

"Lord Hector? Milord forgive me but Mark sent me to heal you." I say, louder this time.

He finally turns and looks at me. His normally relaxed face has turned to one of anger and hatred. His brow is furrowed but not in thought, his mouth turned down in a frown, his dark blue eyes are narrowed and he refuses to look me in the eye. When it seems like he is, he pretends to look at something else. I do not wish to be in the presence of Lord Hector when he is in this state. I quickly heal him and await further orders.

We slowly creep through the forest despite the fog. We are getting closer to our enemy, so close I can see a figure of a nomad, or nomad trooper in the distance. Guy keeps glancing at me from the corner of his eye. I pretend I don't notice if only for his sake.

Guy and I are told to stay back incase enemy reinforcements arrive.

I notice a strange woman with aqua hair flying next to Florina on a Pegasus. Both of them have their own, is this woman a Pegasus knight of Ilia? If so why is she here? Bothquestions I have to ask later.

The nomad trooper a man of Sacae, Uhai, is killed but he gives us information about a shortcut to the Dragon's Gate. Lyndis and Eliwood believe him but Hector seems reluctant even unwilling, to trust anyone. I still wonder what had happened in the forest that had made Hector so angry but I don't ask. It is not my business.

We stop to rest for awhile and as I sit in my tent for the first time I realize that I'm lonely. Is that why I am so desperate for Raymond to keep his promise? I don't know but I wish someone would come into the tent and talk to me. Anyone, even…Guy or Sain. I know it won't happen though. Everyone I so down that I doubt they would want to talk. I lie on my bed that has books that haven't been unpacked and organized yet and I fall asleep.

I dream of someone…I cannot recall who…it evades me no matter how much I think and try to remember. Who had I dreamed of last night? Perhaps I will never know.

* * *

Well that's the end of chapter five I guess. He he he…Priscilla dreamed of the person she's going to end up with but I'm not gonna tell you who! Wow…that was I pretty long one I think… it took me about a week to write it all but I wrote most of it at about 11pm on Friday, February 25! It took me a week only cause I wrote a bit whenever I got the chance, which was not often, but I'm glad I finally finished! I tried my best describing Hector's "angry face" as I call it but it's kinda strange… and of course everyone who has played the game to Chapter 18 knows what made him so angry. I just had to add it in. Well that's all for now. Oh, and in case you are saying "that was not a very angsty chapter" I say to you "no, no it really wasn't. Partly because Priscilla doesn't know how to feel about everything and unlike Erk she does not like someone that doesn't even know that she likes them." Erk likes Priscilla but she doesn't know it, Priscilla likes Raven but he _does _know it. See the difference?

Canas: Matthew is sulking and hurling profane words at everyone so he is currently locked in his room. I'm her muse for now!

Me: Yes that's the gist of it.

Canas: Read and Review if you would.

I


	6. Dragon's Gate

To Be Alone. 

Ah hello again all those who have reviewed! I have taken quite a while updating this time for which I am dreadfully sorry. Ugh…math homework, then sick, then math homework and sick. Not good combinations and of course my little brother hogged the computer…the only time I got on was when I had to look up a strategy guide for final fantasy 7… anyway. I had gotten another review but due to the fact that the person's review is inappropriate and also reveals to the world what they are overcompensating for I shall forgo the reviewer responses.

Chapter 6: Dragon's Gate.

Erk's POV.

We have arrived at the Dragon's Gate on the Dread Isle. It is not one of my favourite places I must admit. However it is for my training…and to protect Lady Priscilla, who has been avoiding me of late. She sees me and seems to run in the opposite direction, as if she is afraid of me… I don't tell her that it is like a slap in the face when she does that, she doesn't know how I feel about her, perhaps I will never tell her. _Lady Priscilla are you truly more happy with your brother, Lucius or Guy? _I had noticed her speaking with the green haired myrmidon at least once. To say I was not jealous of him…would be a lie. I in fact felt pain so bad I nearly cried out. I could sit there staring at Priscilla pretending I don't like her, pretending that everything is fine. I could tell her…though I know I cannot. I can't put my own happiness before hers.

Every time Canas sees me he has an odd expression on his face, like he is smiling inside but doesn't want to alert me that he finds my situation amusing. I do not find it funny at all but I am not angry that he gets 

such pleasure from watching me struggle. Looking at him however, I have reason to believe that he would have had the same troubles I am having now. I have never asked him about his life before "Eliwood's Elite" I do not even know if he is married. I won't ask him though, it isn't really any of my business, besides, I have no clue how old he is and it may be considered rude of me to ask.

I walk across the hard dirt ground hearing only the crunch of dead twigs under my feet and the footfalls of the rest of the group. Serra is walking next to me but I hardly hear her insistent nagging.

"Shut your hole would you!" Lord Hector snaps angrily.

He has been like that ever since a couple days ago. Even Lord Eliwood cannot make him calm down. No one quite knows why he is so mad except perhaps Oswin but no one else wants to ask so I suppose we shall never know. Serra is walking silently now; she seems to be crying. I don't say anything. Call me cruel but I don't exactly care. That girl has been giving everyone trouble so I can't say I'm not at least a little bit glad Lord Hector finally made her be quiet.

Nobody says a word now. I think everyone is just a little bit afraid after Lord Hector's newest outburst. I take the opportunity to take out one of my books and begin to refresh myself one the basics of anima magic.

Soon we are in another battle. The Marquess of Laus, Lord Darin has returned and is now fighting with a band of, for lack of a better word, evil mercenaries. Apparently they are called the Black Fang and once used to protect Elibe from Lords abusing their power but has since become rather a nuisance as well as dangerous. I am placed next to Priscilla this battle. Will she ignore me completely?

She halts her mount right next to me but doesn't look over. She stares straight ahead and moves only when Mark orders her to. I want to say something, anything but I don't. Finally she looks at me. Her blue eyes bore into mine for a moment then she opens her mouth to speak.

"Erk, I don't know why you…have changed but..." she doesn't get a chance to finish her sentence, her brother Raven strides up to her and gives me a steely glare. I take the hint and back off.

She smiles at her brother, she smiles… she never does that around me so she must…not wish to be around me. Mark seems to be surprised which leads me to believe Raven acted against orders. Being the excellent tactician he is Mark takes it all in stride and yells at me to get next to the thief Matthew.

Feeling more than a little dejected I walk over to Matthew who is presently sneaking up on a witless cavalier. I don't really approve of stealing so I look away as if I saw nothing and keep watch for enemies.

The battlefield is quiet now, as opposed to the deafening sound earlier. Lord Eliwood has found his father Lord Elbert and a fiend by the name of Nergal. The man that took Ninian earlier, his name is Ephidel is taunting Lord Hector with some sort of information. The Lordling seems to get even more angry than before if that is even possible.

Nergal is trying to open the Dragon's Gate and release dragons into Elibe again. That would no doubt be disastrous but this dolt thinks he can control them! In a last struggle Lord Elbert manages to wound Nergal and the Dragon's Gate is closed. The man Ephidel is pulled in as well, the entire time screaming for his master to save him. At that moment I felt some regret for the man, he as it turns out is only a creation of Nergal, he receives no mercy from his creator, that horrible man leaves his beloved experiment to be destroyed. The one person that has no compassion for Ephidel is Lord Hector. The Ostian Lord simply shrugs and says that Ephidel got what he deserved. I think an employ of House Ostia was murdered and that is why Lord Hector was and still is so angry with him. I don't know who it is that was killed but I do believe they had something to do with Matthew. The thief shows almost the same attitude as Lord Hector though not as openly. Perhaps it was that Ostian spy we met in Castle Caelin, I nod to myself, that was probably it.

Lord Elbert is dying; the person we came to rescue is slipping away as we all stand here. Hector looks angry enough to kill anyone that got in his way so nobody says anything.

Lord Eliwood is of course very upset and promises to bring his father back to Pherae. I do not pity the young Lord. All that time looking for his father only for him to be taken away in the end. I can only guess what will happen to Pherae when the news of Lord Elbert's death reaches into the place he used to rule. However our quest is not over yet, we must tack down Nergal, leader of the Black Fang and stop him from releasing the dragons into Elibe. It will be dangerous yes but perhaps we will do it, perhaps we will stop Nergal. Or perhaps…we won't. We may die in the process. It is not a matter that worries me immensely at this moment I cannot see the future; I do not know what will happen.

* * *

well that's the 6th chapter. horribly short, i know. ill have another fanfiction up in a few days as i said earlier for final fantasy 7 so yeah read it if you want. ill make the next chapter longer i promise! and yes, i did have to add Leila in, i know, i know. i am a rabid fan of her and matthew so yeah... but cut me some slack ok? last chappie was fairly long! ha ha! well, Raven sure is a bugger no?

Matthew: read and review...sighplease...

Me:ah, depression, gotta love it... anyway do as he says and r&r!


	7. New Resolve

To Be Alone.

Well, this chapter is going to be longer I promise! It is always easier to write in Priscilla's POV for some reason… ah well anyway, this chapter is going to take place in you guessed it, the stupid ship and of course wonderful Badon. We all saw how Raven is such a butt hole last chapter and we shall see it again this chapter! Don't ask who will end up with whom because firstly I won't tell you and secondly I don't know myself. Of course everybody knows whom Erk wants but…gasp! Does Priscilla want him? Anyway on with the fic!

Chapter 7: New Resolve

Priscilla's POV

After the incident on the Dread Isle and Dragon's Gate the lords have gone quiet. No one has heard from Lord Eliwood or Lord Hector; Lady Lyndis is sometimes seen but she doesn't really speak to anyone but Florina. It is how it has been for the whole boat ride. Even now we are still on Captain Fargus' boat and the Lords are no where in sight. All those in service to Lord Eliwood have seemingly disappeared as well as House Ostia's employs. I miss the company of Sir Lowen who is quite an amusing man to be around and now I only have My Lord brother and Lucius to keep me company. Rebecca has gone missing as well; I have seen her in the presence of that pirate Dart for some time now.

I haven't seen Erk in days since the Dread Isle. Raven has scared him off I think. I am grateful for that because I have lost my nerve to speak with Erk. However I don't agree with the way he did the scaring off. I think that if Erk had been the nervous type like Florina he may just have had a heart attack. My Lord brother is an intimidating man to others but I usually have no problems speaking with him. Except now… he is standing right next to me but I cannot say a word and he will not say anything to me unless I start the conversation. Lucius is standing next to Raven and he tries to make Raven say something.

"Lady Priscilla are you alright? You seem to be ill at ease today."

Raven looks at me quickly and then at Lucius. Obviously I was supposed to make myself look sick in the second of warning that Lucius gave me but I didn't so Raven just mutters something about Lucius involving himself in matters that he has no business involving himself in. We are in the mess hall of the ship and everyone is around me but I feel like I am about to cry. Why does my Lord brother not want me? Have I done something wrong? I excuse myself and walk out of the dining hall as if nothing is wrong.

I hear my boots clunking on the wooden floor and make a conscious effort to walk without making too much noise. I feel that if I do that… someone will either hear me or yell at me to be quiet or the dead will rise up and pull me into nothingness. I don't know why I feel that way, but I do. So I am walking down the corridor to my cabin on tiptoes knowing that Lord Eliwood is just across from me and down the hall.

"Hello Priscilla! Trying to become a thief are we?"

I jump a foot in the air and turn around. It is Matthew again smiling away like he had last time I met him.

"Hello Matthew. What brings you here?" I ask politely.

"Well firstly I wanted to see if I could sneak up on you and now I am headed to young masters' quarters to see if he won't allow me to nick some things next battle. He hardly let me at all last time, I mean really, what else can thieves be used for?" He replies with mock exasperation.

"That's not very nice sneaking up on me like that but yes, I suppose you should be allowed to…do your job." I say hesitating slightly at job. Would he be offended if I had said something else?

"Ah well look at the time, I must be going, pressing engagements elsewhere I'm afraid. Good luck with your new career path!" He says and jogs off.

Young master? Who was young master? Oh, he must mean Lord Hector I realize. Sometimes I am such a dolt.

I continue to my room where I sit down on my bed and read one of my books on light magic. As I flip through the slightly yellowed pages I think of how different and strange my life has become since I have joined Lord Eliwood on his journey. I have more friends than I ever have and none of them likes me just because I am of noble birth. That makes me smile despite the fact that My Lord brother has seemingly forgotten about me.

Here I have my friends to care for me even if my Lord brother will not, it doesn't matter, my friends are here. If I ever need protecting…then…Erk is always there for me… I realize that I have been less than fair to my escort, no, he is not just my escort. Erk is my friend, my best friend. I have to go find him and tell him how much I appreciate what he has done for me. I notice the boat seems to have stopped moving and I assume we must have reached our destination. The only thing left to do is find Erk and I know he will probably be in his quarters reading.

In my state of happiness and a little bit of panic I run right into Sir Oswin. The tall heavyset man is so massive compared to me that when I hit him I fall backwards and land right on my backside. The knight helps me up and apologizes for bumping into me even though it was my fault.

"Sir Oswin, how does Lords Hector and Eliwood fare today, are they in need of a healer?" I ask quietly then kick myself for asking questions I should not.

He smiles "Well, Hector is still in a wonderfully angry mood and Lord Eliwood… he is noticeably upset. But none require a healer however we shall call for you if we do Lady Priscilla."

"Of course Sir Oswin, forgive my nosiness."

"Mm. Not at all. There's no harm in wondering," he replies.

I excuse myself and walk in the direction of Erk's quarters. When I get there I knock on the door. Canas answers and when I inquire after the whereabouts of his roommate he says he doesn't really know where he is. Why is it when I finally get up the courage to speak with Erk something stops me? However I cannot very well blame Canas so I thank him for his time and go to search for Erk myself.

I am on the dock of Badon when I spot a person with purple hair walk through a crowd of people. Thinking it is Erk I pursue the person only to find it is not Erk but a merchant. I continue to look but eventually just give up and return to the ship. I am sitting on the bunk in my cabin when Raymond walks in.

"Where were you Priscilla?" he asks giving me that cold stare of his.

"I had to go find someone…"

"Whom did you have to find?" he asks. Just looking at him I know I can't lie to his face he would know.

"I…Erk…my e-escort Lord brother," I stammer and feel my cheeks grow hot with embarrassment.

"Your escort? When did that happen?"

"When I left the protection of Grandmother…"I answer softly.

"That mage you were with in the last battle? Is that whom you are speaking of Priscilla?"

I don't trust myself to speak properly so I just nod. This seems to make him angry for some reason.

"Why is it that you need to see that mage so badly Priscilla? What are your feelings towards him, have you forgotten something?" he asks an angry gleam in his eye.

"W-what do you mean Lord brother? Erk is my friend I- I have no feelings for him other than that…I haven't forgotten what you told me…"

He doesn't seem to believe me and questions me more. "If you are _just friends _as you say then why are you so keen to find him right now?"

I feel tears sliding down my cheeks. Why is he being like this? Why has my Lord brother changed so much? I can't take it anymore I have to get away from Raymond. Why can't he be like he was before?

I push past him and run. He calls after me but I ignore him and keep running all the way to the deck. I don't care that everyone can see me crying I don't care that I look foolish and I certainly don't care that Raymond is not here. I wish my friends were here but they aren't; they are all off taking care of Lord Eliwood and Lord Hector. I feel so alone and realize that to be alone means I have no one at all. That's not true though, I have someone I have everybody but they just need to take care of others right now, it is not all about me. I stop crying abruptly as I hear footsteps behind me. I don't turn around fearing that it might be Raymond but it isn't. It is Mark.

"Well hello there Priscilla, what seems to be the problem?" he asks.

"I…that man, Raven he… can you make sure he…doesn't come near me in the next battle?" I ask quietly.

"Yes of course, I have a bone to pick with him over the incident last battle. He acted against orders again."

"Oh dear…I…Mark, have you seen Erk?" I ask nervously.

"As a matter of fact no, not for awhile now…it isn't like him to just go somewhere without telling anyone, especially you," Mark answers thoughtfully.

"What do you mean especially me?"

"Well, usually if he tells anyone anything it's you or Canas. But he hasn't told Canas anything either I just asked him not too long ago," Mark says with a frown.

"Forgive me but I must go look for him."

"O-of course. He's probably out looking for you. This is not an uncommon occurrence but good luck," Mark says with a smile.

I nod and walk off to find Erk, my best friend. I look around dock and am soon overwhelmed by the abundance of sounds and sights. It is almost impossible to find someone in this chaotic place and the impending darkness is not helping my search any either. Erk would not give up searching for me so I cannot give up looking for him.

"Lady Priscilla what are you doing? Would you like me to escort you to the inn?"

I look. It is Erk, he has returned. I am so happy that I almost embrace him. I don't really know if I should, it might embarrass him and make the rest of the group believe we are together which can never be true. Before I have time to analyze the situation more I just do it. Erk seems surprised but doesn't pull away as I thought he would. We both stand there for awhile and I feel strange after we stop embracing. He doesn't look at me after that and resumes his normal stoic appearance.

"I suppose that would be a yes?" he asks and I can tell he is struggling to keep a straight face.

"Y-yes, I suppose it is…"

We walk together to the inn we are supposed to be staying at and Erk brings me as far as my room, no farther. I feel a twinge of regret as I close the door and hear his footsteps grow more and more faint as he walks down the hall then down the stairs. What would it be like having Erk by my side always, even more than he is today? Really I am wondering what it would be like being married to Erk. I am shocked with those thoughts. My Lord brother, he would be furious, he must never find out about me hugging Erk. It is a battle that is already lost; no one will keep it a secret, except those who actually saw it may. That is a ridiculous thing to think. No one will keep it a secret. Those who saw it happen will tell others and they will tell others. Soon it will be all over the camp. I can't allow this to happen! If my Lord brother found out he might… I am not only scared for my safety but Erk's as well. I don't know how My Lord brother will react to such news.

That night I am unable to sleep which in the end is a good thing. The Black Fang attacked in the middle of the night! What fiends. Erk was placed next to me this battle as well and he helped light the way with his fire magic. It was so dark I couldn't see a thing but I heard Erk beside me chanting spells under his breath.

"Are you well Lady Priscilla?"

"Of course Erk. I am not as frail as you think," I answer with a smile. He cannot see it though because of the heavy blanket of darkness.

Lord Eliwood is in this battle I have heard I have yet to see him but perhaps I will he and Lord Hector have been missed these past few days. In the distance I can see Florina and her sister…Fiora fighting bravely on their pegasi. Even the dancer Ninian is in the battle at Lord Eliwood's side. Everybody is fighting hard despite the fact that they can barely see. I am glad I decided to join Lord Eliwood on his journey even though my life has changed along with my Lord brother. I believe that other than that everything else has turned out better than I could have hoped.

* * *

Phew. Well I think that's it. We will have to see if this is the end of the fic. It all depends on you, the reviewer! So if you want to use your imagination then you can imagine what happens after this or I could write more. The thing is, despite the slight lean towards ErkxPris I don't think ending it now is such a good idea… I just don't know… everything is not all neatly tied in a bow yet and that is the way I like things to end. So I'll probably end up writing more if I can and that's it. I don't know! Anyway,

Matthew: Read and Review! It is your new job!

Me: Yes, please. You won't get the ending you want if you don't review!


	8. Kinship's Bond

* * *

To Be Alone

Hello everyone. Apparently I have fans now which I am very happy for. Thank you for all your reviews! It's a record I got 6 reviews!

Matthew: reviewer responses!

No name: thank you, I'm so glad you like it! Oh and he he…yeah, for some reason I thought Sain had green hair. It must have been the light. Yes, Priscilla and Raven married _is_ amusingly sick. Anyway, thank you for your reviews!

Cardoran: wow! Thank you so much for your kind words! I'll be sure to finish the fic!

Kenshkrix: thanks for your review. I tend to ask people what they want but I must admit that even if nobody wanted me to finish or something, I'd still write what I want…  I'm glad you are curious, that was my intent, to keep people guessing.

Chaos2489: yes, it's about time. It's your own fault you got so behind with the chapters :P

Kouichi Kimura 4 eva: Thanks for the review ling! ;)

Chapter 8: Kinship's Bond.

Erk's POV

Well, I cannot say I am not surprised at Lady Priscilla's sudden desire to be around me. I am rather happy actually. It's strange though, why would she all of a sudden wish to have me around after avoiding me for awhile now? Well I suppose I shouldn't question it. Why she embraced me like she did I'll never know unless I ask her, which I don't intend to do. Other people around the camp are looking at me strangely now as well. It's like they know something but they are keeping it to themselves. I don't really like that, I mean if they know something they should at least tell me if it has to do with me that is. If it doesn't I don't really care. _Let them have their secrets it'll do them no good on the battlefield. _

The battlefield. Is that all I think of these days? Honestly, it's like I've become some sort of battle crazed lunatic. I believe having Lord Hector around is the reason for that. He is always saying how we have to fight with strength and defeat our enemies. Of course after Lord Hector says something like that either Lady Lyndis or Lord Eliwood say something about having honour and not acting like Hector. It is rather confusing actually. So in the end most people are fighting hard but giving people the opportunity to surrender, which of course we have learned, never happens. Sometimes it seems hopeless. When one looks out across the plain and sees at least forty people waiting to fight against one's allies that only number about 14 it is quite difficult to be positive about the whole thing.

On the way to our next destination, Ostia, whom do we find on the way? Well, it is none other than Marquess Ostia himself. The Marquess Ostia, Lord Uther is Lord Hector's elder brother. I must say the resemblance is there though Lord Uther has many more scars than Lord Hector. They both have the same colour hair however, and though Lord Uther tries to hide it they both have a taste for battle or so it seems.

That is the first time I realize that we have a new recruit. By the looks of it another thief. This man, Legault is his name (or so I've heard), has long kind of purplish hair. It is similar to Lord Pent's. He also has a long scar that runs down the left side of his face, over his eye. In other words he looks much more menacing than Matthew does. I have yet to meet him; I haven't been acquainted with Florina's sister… Fiora either. _There will be plenty of time to meet new people after our task is done _I remind myself.

As it is with all things that go on with "Eliwood's Elite" the young bard Nils suddenly falls ill. As someone tries to move him his sister the dancer Ninian tells him or her to stop. I only heard the yell truthfully; Canas would probably tell me later if he had seen exactly what had happened. Nobody knows why we can't move the boy but now because of an impending battle we are trapped here. So everybody gathers his or her arms including me. Mark says it is a bit risky for me to come along because there are many enemies that use swords, axes and such but I suppose he only agrees to allow me to fight because he needs someone to stay with Nils.

From my spot on the battlefield I can see that we have yet another recruit. An employ of Pherae it seems. I can only hear small snippets of the Lord's conversation but I find out the woman's name is Isadora and she does indeed work for Pherae as a paladin. I can also hear everything that is happening in the battle. The clash of weapons, the screams of wounded or dying men, everything. Sometimes it is disturbing especially when you are unable to _see _anything.

I look up and see a knight making his way towards the room I am in. I think back to my training.

_Now remember Erk, knights are strong attackers and have excellent defense but they have two weaknesses, Armorslayers and you. The mage. So anytime a knight confronts you use your strongest magic then back off. There is no need to be a hero so don't get too close. _

I realize I have a fire tome, which is stronger than the thunder tome I am currently using. _If only I was strong enough to use Elfire…_ now is not the time for hesitation. I mutter the spell and use it on the knight. He grunts in pain but refuses to back off. If I don't get out of here, I'm as good as dead but I can't leave Nils lying unprotected. Is it all over? Am I going to die?

I see the huge man advance and throw a large lance it is aimed at me. I take a breath and calculate the time in which impact would occur. Now. Now is the time to get out of the way. But I can't I'm frozen in place. I am resigned to my fate, if I must die then so be it. _I'm sorry Lord Pent… I guess I'm not a worthy student after all… _ all at once I know I can move. I still have time; I duck just as the lance is about to hit me. I retaliate with another spell. The knight is still able to move but just barely. If he attacks me again I should be able to kill him provided that he misses me.

"Are you alright Erk?" Canas asks, " I must say that that was a close call."

"I'm fine…"

The next attack from the knight hits me dead on. I hit him with a spell before nearly falling over. A deep wound in my side makes it obvious that I am not quite as good at dodging as I should be. I pull a vulnerary out of my satchel and rub it on the wound. It helps a bit but of course not enough. It always seems that whenever one gets into real trouble the healer is never there but when there is a minor scrape to be mended they are there in record time. Mark finally spots me doubled over holding my side. I hear the clattering of hooves and when I look up Lady Priscilla is riding towards me. She rides over and dismounts.

"Erk. Are you alright?"

"Of course Lady Priscilla," I answer hoarsely.

She frowns and murmurs a spell. I feel the wound begin to close then finally disappear completely.

"Thank you Lady Priscilla."

"Don't thank me Erk. I am only doing my job. What kind of troubadour would I be if I ignored my wounded allies?" she answers and as quickly as she appeared she is gone.

I continue to fight with renewed vigor. Finally the battle ends. Luckily Nils seems to have recovered after the short rest so we head onward. Apparently we are to travel to Bern. There is word from Ostia's spies that Nergal has traveled to Bern, according to the man Legault that is where the Headquarters of the Black Fang is situated. I know that before we travel to Bern we must pass through the Nabata desert to meet a "Living Legend". It will no doubt be a difficult journey due to the heat. I have never been to the desert but I have read of its high temperatures and it is supposed to be rather treacherous. However, I know that Lord Pent has been seen traveling to Nabata. Perhaps we will meet up with he and Lady Louise. I hate to admit it but I miss them a lot. Naturally I would never tell anyone but Lord Pent and Lady Louise that I missed them. I sigh. Perhaps we will be reunited. Lord Pent is my tutor, I suppose I can only train so long without his guidance.

It is such a long road to Nabata, then after that we must continue to walk through the desert itself. Serra of course complains loudly as usual. It seems Lords Eliwood and Hector are feeling better. They are out of their quarters (tents) and walking about speaking to the group. Personally I prefer to speak with Lady Lyndis. Lord Eliwood is always very nice and polite but truthfully I have nothing to say to him. Lord Hector is just violent and intimidating, I am grateful for his ability to make Serra be quiet however. Lady Lyndis is always nice but I feel more loyal to her than the other Lords. Perhaps it is because I have traveled with her before. I look to my right and see that Canas has fallen in step with me, his nose is, as always, in a large book. I am reading as I walk but not as intently as the shaman does. I decide to return to my studies. I am currently reading up on the Nabata desert and I have another book on the military region of Bern.

Seeing as I am wrapped up in my book and lack the ability to walk in a straight line while doing so I soon fall into the ditch at the side of the road.

"Oof! Oh…" I mutter to myself.

I pick myself up and dust my clothes off. I search around for my book in the ditch. I murmur to myself about coordination. I have to learn to walk and read at the same time. I hear soft giggling behind me and turn around. It was Lady Priscilla. She's laughing. She's never done that before in my presence. It makes me happy that she's happy. I smile slightly, tentatively actually. Smiling is not something that comes that naturally to me I'm afraid.

"E-Erk…you're so funny. Oh, I'm sorry, I shouldn't laugh, I know," Priscilla says blushing bright red.

"Lady Priscilla, that's alright. I suppose my lack of coordination is quite humorous…"

I think back to the day in Badon, our embrace. I know I have to tell her about my feelings but now is not the time. I don't want to ruin her happiness. What if she doesn't feel the same? Will I be able to deal with the rejection?

"Here's your book…you dropped it when you fell…are you alright?" she asks her blush deepening.

"Oh…I had almost forgotten…thank you Lady Priscilla…"

"Priscilla!" a harsh voice yells loudly.

I would recognize that voice anywhere. Raven. Lady Priscilla's brother. She wasn't supposed to tell me that they were siblings but I had noticed her strange behaviour around him. I immediately raise my guard. I must admit that I am fearful for my life when I am around Raven.

"R-Raven… what is it?" Priscilla asks, her voice shaking.

"Priscilla…"

He doesn't have to say anything, I know that's my cue to get out of there and fast. Lady Priscilla looks at me, she seems sorry about all of the threats to my life. Well, perhaps _life _is a bit extreme but most definitely my health. I thank Lady Priscilla again for her concern then slink away. I can hear them whispering quite loudly while in the ditch but I am unable to make out their words. As if he senses he is needed the thief Matthew is at my side.

"Well then Erk. It seems you have gotten yourself into quite a predicament now haven't you? Never fear I am here. Now, what will it be, would you like me to listen in on their conversation? Please say I can!"

I have a feeling he is very eager to eavesdrop and also he wants something in return. However, I will not be tricked like the myrmidon…Guy. I suppose it makes little difference whether I give my consent for him to listen in, he will no doubt do it anyway but not divulge any information to me.

"I'm sure you would just listen in anyway Matthew," I say whilst trying to hear the conversation myself.

"Well of _course _I would! I am a spy after all! Naturally, there is a price for my…services. "

He says it as if I didn't know he was a spy, honestly. He only tells everyone he meets. That is a lie of course, he doesn't tell _everyone_, just the people who knows will pay him to spy on other people. Apparently he has pegged me as one of his victims…patrons…

"That is quite alright Matthew. I am not in need of your services at this time," I reply in what I hope is a firm voice.

He sighs and shrugs almost nonchalantly. I then think to check my pockets. Of course he has already taken half of my gold and run off. It doesn't matter I suppose. All the money in "Eliwood's Elite" goes to swords and such so really Matthew is gaining nothing from stealing my gold unless he did it purely for the fun of it, then…I am certain he is content.

I give up on trying to hear Lady Priscilla and her brother's conversation. It is neither an excellent quality for a scholar to have nor is it polite to do so even if one just happens to hear shouting while walking down a street. I return to my book and nearly fall again two times before I give up on that too. What can I say? I am a quitter sometimes.

We finally reach Nabata desert a few days later. It is, like I have read, very, very hot. I am suddenly grateful for Lady Louise's wardrobe choice. Everybody else seems to miserable, I am as well but probably not as much as everyone else like Sirs Kent and Sain and Lord Eliwood. All are wearing attire quite inappropriate for the climate. Perhaps they should have read up on the desert beforehand.

A moment that will forever be remembered is when Lord Hector the seemingly brusque man picked up the bard Nils and lifted him onto his shoulders. I admit that I would not be so eager to be lifted onto Lord Hector's shoulders either so I suppose I cannot laugh at the Nils' face.

"Ah! I'm going to fall! I'm going to fall!"

Yes, that was quite humourous indeed. Lady Lyndis laughed for along time. It seemed like she'd never stop. I could see Matthew laughing loudly a distance away from Lord Hector. I suppose he didn't want to be around his Lord when he got finished his charity work.

I spotted Lady Priscilla riding along sedately and was going to ask her if she was all right but as if out of no where her brother appeared and gave me a scowl. Needless to say I didn't advance any further. Would I ever get a chance to tell Lady Priscilla my feelings? Maybe I should just give up now with all my limbs still attached.

Before long we run into two odd looking men. They certainly seem…close… for brothers. They both have the same strip of hair standing on end and they are both rather robust looking. I know this will no doubt be a difficult battle, the sand will hinder our movements. Not to mention the high temperatures.

The battle begins fairly quickly seeing as we refuse to leave the desert and the two brothers don't seem to like us in their "territory". It's so hot out I feel like I'll die. I know I can't die before we finish the battle, of course not at all would be preferable but perhaps that's not in the cards as they say.

I fall many times because of the constantly shifting sands and I keep thinking I see enemies when there are none in my vicinity. I am paired with Sir Kent this battle. He is polite but really doesn't say much.

"It is quite hot out isn't? I hope Lady Lyndis is doing well," says the red haired cavalier nervously.

"…I knew that it was going to be hot…but this is a bit ridiculous…"

After that we don't say anything and return to looking out for enemies. I think I see someone coming out of the swirling sands but perhaps it is only a mirage. But I think Sir Kent sees it as well.

"Do you see that? It looks like a man," Kent murmurs. He is talking to me but it seems like he is half speaking to himself as well.

"Yes… I see it…" I try seeing more but I can't. The only thing I know is that it is an anima magic user. I want to call out and see if it is Lord Pent but if it isn't that would just make more work for Sir Kent and I.

"Shall we go see then? We don't need an enemy escaping and hurting Lords Eliwood or Hector or Lady Lyndis," Kent says still staring straight ahead.

"…You're right. That would be a nasty surprise for them."

So we advance towards the shape. It starts to sharpen as we get closer. I can tell it is a sage, an advanced magic user. Just from his stance and the small clear moments I get to see him better I know it is my teacher Lord Pent. I wonder where Lady Louise is; usually the two of them are inseparable. I feel my stomach tighten. I hope nothing is wrong with Lady Louise…

"Lord Pent?" I call. If he doesn't remember my voice then we may be in some trouble, he may attack us and then Sir Kent would be in danger; cavaliers don't have that much resistance to magic.

The man turns and looks straight at me from afar. "Erk? What in Elimine's name are you doing in the Nabata desert?"

He walks over and now I know it is truly he. His silvery purple hair whips around from the force of the wind. I have been having some difficulty with my hair as well seeing as it is quite long. Every time I tried to read or say something I either got hair in my face or a chunk of hair in my mouth. Lord Pent immediately begins scolding me, right in front of Sir Kent who pretends not to notice.

"ERK! What have I told you about the Nabata desert?"

"That it is dangerous and I should exercise caution if I should ever enter it," I reply feeling my face grow hot from embarrassment.

"You shouldn't go to Nabata is what I told you! Do you know the danger you have put yourself in? Do you know how worried Louise and I would be if you just disappeared?" Lord Pent says. He doesn't seem cross however.

"I'm sorry Lord Pent… I know I shouldn't have come to Nabata but I am traveling with Lord Eliwood of Pherae and Lord Hector of Ostia and Lady Lyndis of Caelin in search of Nergal…"

He freezes and just stares at me. Now, I think he is angry with me.

"Erk… how do you ever manage to get yourself into such messes?"

"I-I'm sorry Lord Pent…but I gave my word and you also told me to not go back on my word…did you not? I'm sorry if you are angry with me but I must be responsible. I must keep my promise," I answer relatively quietly.

Lord Pent sighs. I know that he said that and he knows that he did so I do believe that I have won. "…Yes…I did say that. You are right of course. I suppose you aren't my star pupil for nothing…however I don't like the idea of you traveling around in such dangerous places…but…it is part of your training I suppose."

I don't say anything. I get embarrassed when he tells other people that I am his student…his only student really. He probably wasn't angry… worried perhaps. I suppose that was my fault though. Actually now I feel kind of guilty. What would happen if I died and Lord Pent and Lady Louise were never informed? Well nothing would happen I suppose, they wouldn't know I was dead. But, enough of my morbid thoughts, I am not dead and I should thank Elimine for that.

Sir Kent is still waiting and I don't look at him as Lord Pent introduces himself.

After all is said and done in regards to the battle the group travels to a part of the desert in which Lord Athos lives. I am quite enthusiastic to meet the sage; he is one of the most famous mages in existence, a living legend.

Lord Athos is an old man and his appearance reflects that. He has long grey hair that reaches long down his back and of course he is rather wrinkly. That doesn't seem to bother anybody, not even Serra whom is usually so vocal about her opinions and set in her ideas. I am listening to Lord Athos speak so I don't realize that Lady Priscilla is right next to me.

"He's amazing isn't he?" she finally says.

I jump in surprise but manage to answer her question after a reasonable amount of time. "Yes, he is. I've read that he can use all sorts of magic, not just anima."

She nods and doesn't say anything more as to not seem impolite.

Lord Athos speaks of how we must go to Bern and defeat the Black Fang. To say I am not a bit worried about facing the Black Fang would be a lie. I am in fact very nervous as to how my magic will work. But I suppose now that I have Lord Pent around I can resume my training with him. That is if he and Lady Louise choose to stay that is.

Later that night Lady Louise came to the tent I share with Canas. She of course had to go through her whole ritual of hugging me and saying how much I've grown though I haven't gotten any taller since she saw me last. Then naturally Canas had to come back to the tent just as all of this was going on.

"Ah… why hello Erk. I see you are busy, I'll come back later then?"

That embarrassed me to no end of course but before I could say anything Lady Louise was already introducing herself. For the sake of being polite she always says. Then after that well, let's just say Canas was more reluctant to leave. I suppose it's not everyday one meets the wife of a Marquess that is in charge of magic.

"Yes, my Lord Pent was traveling to Nabata so I couldn't just let him go all alone! Besides, Erk was gone out training so I really had no company at all, so we packed up and I went to Nabata along with Lord Pent."

Oh dear. I fear Lady Louise is quite the talker so I don't think I will be getting to bed anytime soon. That doesn't bother me really, Lady Louise is like a mother to me and has always cared for me so I can't just leave her. That would not be polite at all. Besides, it _is_ my tent.

As predicted Lady Louise talked to Canas until Lord Pent came to inquire after her whereabouts. After that I fell asleep rather quickly so I didn't really hear anything Lord Pent said to me though I know I probably should have tried to stay awake to hear what he had to say. Well, truthfully I heard him say my name but that was it. I hope he's not angry with me falling asleep on him…

* * *

Well, that's it for that chapter! I'm sorry that I took so long to update! I really was both busy and tired. I just couldn't find the time. Besides, I'm not the only one that uses the computer! Regardless I have gotten to one of the last chapters. Probably only one more for Priscilla then one more for Erk and then that's it. So anyway 

Matthew: Read and Review!


	9. Four Fanged Offense

To Be Alone

ah...hello people! sorry, it's been about a month since i've updated eh? well, i had to reformat my bloody computer so i no longer have microsoft word which means no spell check or grammar check. either way, i'm sorry if my grammar is not up to par in the last chapters. if anyone can tell me where i can download a word processing program that'd be great!

Chapter 9: Four Fanged Offense.

Priscilla's POV.

We are traveling to the military region of Bern today. I must say that I have never been there so I am actually quite excited to be going. It is unfortunate that we have to travel all over Elibe for such grave reasons but I suppose I should take what I can get and stop complaining. My lord brother has begun to follow me around constantly I am not upset by this as most of the army thinks I should be. Actually I am very glad that he has started to watch over me again, just like when we were children. However, I haven't seen Erk for some time. His tutor Lord Pent has returned and is now instructing Erk almost all the time. I suppose it doesn't make much of a difference... my lord brother probably wouldn't let me see him anyway. But... I do miss him. I feel sad when I think about someday soon breaking off all ties with my companions in Eliwood's Elite. Especially Erk. He has been my escort for so long now and... I'm afraid I will be very upset when the day to say goodbye comes. Even now I am getting overwhelmingly sad but I can't show it or my lord brother will ask what is wrong. If I were to tell Raymond about being sad about leaving Erk then I believe he would be very angry. Sometimes I think he only made that promise so he could keep me from being happy with someone else. To be absolutely truthful, if I were to leave my lord brother and find a different person to be with...it would be Erk. But, that's never going to happen. I can't even bear to have my lord brother say anything about breaking his promise even if he is making a jest. So why do I feel the way I do? I'm so confused. Would it be wrong to be with Raymond? Would I be breaking some sort of rule if I were to marry him? I don't know... why do I never get any answers?

Raymond seems to have seen the forlorn look I am no doubt giving him. When he asks what is wrong I cannot even bear to answer him. In a way I almost wish I hadn't found my brother again. Things would be so much easier but I know that thinking such things is not nice at all. I am promised to Raymond and there is nothing I or anyone else can do about it.

"For the love of Elimine Priscilla, what is wrong with you?"

"...nothing, nothing is wrong lord brother," I answer and try to act as if I'm alright. But nothing is fine. I can't stand it, I can't be with both Erk and Raymond. I have to choose one or the other but I can't. My heart is breaking but I can't tell anyone why and I can't do anything to help myself.

"You don't look fine."

"B-but I AM," I reply trying to sound confident. I know that I just sound like a fool, a person desperate for people to pay attention to me. I wan't people to notice that I'm sad, that I don't know what to do. But they never do, they always leave me alone when I don't tell them what's wrong after their first time asking.

"Fine. If you won't talk to me then... alright."

He's frustrated with me. Even though my lord brother tries hard to be emotionless around me I can still see what he is feeling just by looking at him. I hope that my feelings aren't so easily read because if they were then everybody would know that I don't want to be wih Raven. I won't call him Raymond anymore or lord brother. He hates when I call him either so I will be a good sister and listen to his wishes. But I know that that's not really the reason I won't ever call him by his old names anymore. I used to be so sure that I wanted to be with him that it came naturally but now...now, I am not sure. I am not sure at all. My old feelings are still there and I cannot deny them but they have lessened.

I decide to leave Raven to his own thoughts. He probably wants that anyway. I walk along all by myself not feeling anything in particular. We have set up camp but I don't know where Erk's tent is. I never got a chance to ask. I run into many people on my walk but I don't stop to talk to many of them. I even see Lord Eliwood. He looks better than he has for awhile.

"Oh, hello Priscilla. Are you out for a walk too?"

I nod silently. But then I remember it might be seen as rude to not talk to Lord Eliwood so I say hello.

"Have you been well?" he asks with a smile.

"Yes. Thank you for asking Lord Eliwood."

"Walking always help me clear my mind... is there something bothering you that I can help you with Priscilla?" he asks kindly. How can he be so gentle and nice even after his father was killed and nobody could save him? It is my job to heal people and I failed at that. But yet he still talks to me as an equal?

"It's nothing to concern yourself with my lord."

He smiles knowingly as if he is aware that I am lying but also knows that I am intent on hiding my feelings from everyone. Lord Eliwood then says he must be going and continues walking in the opposite direction I am walking in. So I continue walking even though I have no clue where I am going nor why I am walking in the first place. I hear footseps behind me but don't turn around to see who is there.

"Why hello Priscilla! Out for a walk are you?" Without even looking I know who it is. Matthew of course.

"Hello Matthew. What are you doing out here?" I turn around so I can look at him. All I need is him stealing something off of me.

"Well... I'm doing my job is all. Lord Hector has sent me on a job but I simply can't imagine doing something so horrible! I may be a thief but I do have some pride!" He says acting appalled.

"What did he ask you to do?"

"Oh no no. I can't tell you! If I did...well, I'm afraid they would cut my tongue out or seal my lips permantly! So you see, I cannot tell you Priscilla, though it is a very horrible task," Matthew answers obviously amused with himself.

"Oh...that's quite gruesome... I suppose I really don't want to know then."

"I must be going now Priscilla. My master awaits!" the cheery thief says and jogs off the direction of Lady Lyndis' tent.

It seems that everybody is out for a walk today because I see Lord Pent and Canas talking as they walk with a stack of books in their arms. Lord Pent suddenly piles his books into Canas' hands and walks over. The poor purple haired shaman is obviously not cut out for carrying at least 15 large tomes all at once because he drops them all over the ground a second later.

"Lady Priscilla of Carleon it's nice to see you again," Pent says in a rather formal way.

"Marquess Reglay."

"Well, I'm not going to beat around the bush anymore. Would you please go talk to my student? He has been moping around since Nabata. I'm not worried but I'm afraid I've been ordered to ask you by Louise," Pent says with a smile.

"Your student? You mean...Erk?"

He nods and points to the tent where Canas is trying(without success) to pick up the books. "He's in there."

Should I go see Erk? What if he doesn't want to see me or what if...I don't know what to say. Do I want to talk to him? Do I want to see him? I guess there is only one way to find out.

I walk by Lord Pent and towards the tent. Before going in I help Canas pick up his books. His monocle has fallen out of his eye and he looks absolutely ridiculous trying to hold the tomes and put it back in his eye. I see it dangling from its string near his arm so I put it back in its proper place.

"Ah...thank you very much Priscilla. I'm afraid I would have been floundering around for ages if you hadn't come along."

"Lord Pent would have helped you...I think," I say uncertaintly. Pent sure isn't making himself look very good by standing there laughing at Canas.

"Oh, he would have...eventually. After he was finished laughing I'm sure."

I nod and open the flap to the tent. It's the same as mine in the sense that it is filled with books. Erk is lying on his bedroll with a book in his hand and is obviously engrossed in it because he doesn't hear me come in. I almost don't want to disturb him because he looks happy enough just reading. But I know that I have to talk to him now.

"Erk?" I ask tentatively.

He looks over and immediatly seems to go into a panic because he drops his book on his face and then scrambles to his feet.

"Hello Lady Priscilla. I trust you are well?"

I nod but don't say anything. I have no clue what to say or how to say it. I'm making a fool of myself but I can't stop.

"Is there something you need? Are you worried or upset or extremely happy for some reason?" he asks quickly. He has always had a habit of doing that, asking too many questions at once. He says it is because of his previous employer.

"I-I need to speak with you."

He looks surprised for a moment then regains his composure. "Very well. What is it?"

"...I...think... ... I think I love you Erk."

He just stands there blinking for a second then blushes bright red. "... I don't know what to say Lady Priscilla."

"Oh..."

"Not like that. I like you very much Lady Priscilla. I have for a long time but... I've been too much of a coward to actually tell you..." he admits. He's mumbling but I can still understand him luckily.

"That makes me so happy but...I can't... be with you ever Erk. I just can't. I'm promised to someone already."

I feel so horrible saying that. He won't look at me anymore and he's just standing there silently. Why did I tell him? Why did I have to ruin it by telling him? It hurts so badly but it's probably worse for him I can feel tears streaming down my face like a waterfall and I am unable to stop them.

"I'm sorry...it's Raven..."

He doesn't say anything but he has a strange aura around him that's as cold as stone. _I'm sorry...I'm so sorry... why couldn't I just suffer in silence? Why did I have to hurt someone else too?Why am I so selfish? I hate myself Erk... why couldn't I just leave you alone? _

"Very well Lady Priscilla."

"Don't call me that please...I don't deserve it. I'm sorry..." I'm still crying but I wish I could stop. Why do I have to cry and possibly make him feel worse? I am selfish. I'm a horrible person.

"You are my employer. I have to call you that."

"Please...I can't bear it," I say sadly.

"...And I cannot bear to call you just Priscilla as if you are just a normal person."

Why would he say that? Didn't he hate me for saying I loved him then saying I was promised to someone else? I don't think I can take staying here with him, seeing his face more sad then I have ever seen it. So I turn and leave.

"Goodbye..." I whisper.

He says nothing but as I leave I hear him lie down and sigh. I wish I hadn't told him and I wish I didn't have to go back to Raven and pretend as if nothing is wrong with me. Why am I so horrible to others?

* * *

Well. That's the end of Priscilla's side of things. The next chapter shall be in Erk's POV and shall be the last chapter! Oh my gosh, the end is near! I hope you liked it and I hope it wasn't too short, I guess I'll see when I put it up on the site. Either way,

Matthew: READ AND REVIEW!


	10. Unfufilled Heart

To Be Alone

Well, loyal reviewers(okay...there's only about 2 of you) I'd like to thank you for taking the time to review my fanfiction and even give me some tips. This is the last chapter. What will Erky do! His lover can't be with him! wah! anyway,

Kenshkrix: thanks for pointing that out...he he... i am a blonde you know...it didn't exactly occur to me. anyway, thanks for reviewing.

no name: thanks for reviewing the 8th chapter when nobody else did. Also sorry for not responding before, i kinda forgot about reviewer responses!

Chapter 10: Unfufilled Heart.

you are always gonna be my love

even if I fall in love with someone once again

I'll remember to love

you taught me how

you are always gonna be the one

it's still a sad song

until I can sing a new song-- First Love--Utada Hikaru

Erk's POV

Well, that's it then. Priscilla is promised to someone already, her brother no less. However, I don't blame her...she wants someone who can protect her properly. I can't do that. I'm only a mage after all. Everyone knows that you can't have a simple magic user protecting a healer unless it's someone like Lord Pent. I guess I'm just not strong enough. I wish it had been someone I didn't know though, the person she's promised to that is. I think it would be easier if I didn't have to see the person everyday with her. Whom am I trying to kid? It wouldn't be any better. Maybe I should have just kept it to myself, my feelings. Lady Priscilla looked very upset, she even started to cry. Whether it was on my account I don't know but I suppose I never will. Not only does her brother chase me away but I don't think I could even talk to her again. It would be too awkward I think. I suppose it makes no difference, it's all over now. Why I even thought she would still be available I don't know. I'm lying again though, I know exactly why I thought, no, _hoped_ that she would have noone that she was promised to. It's because I wanted to be with her...but I needn't have tried to get up the courage to tell her, I shouldn't have hoped. I can't really seem to do anything that would show that I've just had my heart broken, cry or otherwise. I guess I don't really get overly emotional. Besides... it's not as if crying or screaming will do anything besides make a scene.

But I'm worried for Lady Priscilla. She seemed sad and I don't know why she would even tell me if it hurt her to do so. Maybe she just wanted to be honest or something. I think I would have preferred to sit on the sidelines and keep my feelings to myself but perhaps this is for the best... I don't think so. I think I like to lie to myself, I suppose heartbreak shows one alot about oneslef. Well, I may as well practice lying on myself because Elimine knows I will have to lie to Lady Louise and Lord Pent alot from now on. Lady Louise will surely try to comfort me if she finds out, but I don't think I want that. Lord Pent will probably act like a father to me as usual and give me some talk but I don't want to waste their time. When this is all over I don't know where I will go, with Lord Pent maybe but...I don't know. Truthfully I cannot even think of the future today. Maybe I'll read a book though I daresay they haven't helped me with talking to people.

I'm lying here with my nose in a book not really thinking of anything. I don't want to think actually. Whatever it is that I think of will probably remind me of...her. Maybe I've gone crazy and don't even realize it. I hope not, if I was crazy I wouldn't be able to continue my studies. That in itself is proof of my insanity. Who thinks of their studies when they have just been told that the person they love can't be with them? The answer is simple, I do, because that's all I have. My books, my anima magic and Lord Pent and Lady Louise naturally. The thing is though, all of those things are related to my studies, except Lady Louise, she tries to make me go outside instead of reading. I'm afraid I'm a bit of a disapointment in that category, Lady Louise wanted a child that would run around and play but instead she got almost a clone of her husband, not that I am saying I'm anywhere near Lord Pent's skill in Anima magic. Sometimes she forces me to go out though, she just bursts into my room and drags me along with her to the gardens. That makes me smile. I like living with them, where would I be without Lord Pent and Lady Louise?

But I can't forget about Lady Priscilla. I keep remembering her words and her face when she said them. I was such an idiot, I just stood there like a dolt letting her get upset then not saying anything. Why did I do that? Was it because I wasn't expecting her to be promised to someone? _You really are stupid. If it hurts to think of it don't. _But I can't even take my own orders. I suppose I probably look quite pathetic, lying here thinking of my own rejection. I can't stop though, it's a horrible thing, lying here allowing my mind to thoughts to run away with me. Ridiculous. _Yes, it is ridiculous so why aren't you stopping? What are you, a student of Lord Pent or a wannabe mage? _Hm, the insanity must be getting worse, I'm even insulting my own intelligence now. Oh well, maybe if I lay here long enough it will all go away.

I'm thinking of possible solutions for my insanity when the tent flap is pulled back. When I look up I see Lady Lyndis standing there. She has a sympathetic look on her face. I don't know why she would feel sorry for me, I'm not crying am I?

"Ah...Erk, I heard what happened... I'm sorry."

"Hello Lady Lyndis. Why are you sorry, it's not as if what happened was your doing," I answer with a shrug.

" Your taking this whole thing well."

I don't answer. I hope this won't become a regular occurance, people interupting my thinking to say they're sorry for something they had no hand in.

"...If you ever need to talk, I'm here. All I need is one of my friends unhappy," she says with a small smile.

She considers me a friend? Well, alright then. I suppose she is my friend as well, she is my liege. Almost.

"Thank you milday..."

She smiles again and leaves. I am relieved that she only stayed for awhile. Lady Lyndis is my friend as she calls it, but I don't want her to feel sorry for me. I suppose I'm not really one that gives or likes to recieve sympathy. Oh well. I only hope that Lady Louise doesn't get wind of this...she'll be even more upset than I am.

Of course such news is probably already all over the camp by now, I wouldn't be surprised if one of the thieves was spying on us. Speaking of which, we have another, an assassin rather. Lord Hector doesn't seem to like him, nor Matthew. It's none of my buisness though so I won't ask. We also have a new mage, Nino I believe her name is. Lady Lyndis is quite taken with her already as are most of the other women and of course Sain. I wonder if she will become a student of Lord Pent's? That would be nice, I'm sure Lady Louise would be pleased seeing as this Nino is alot less interested in studying than I am. We'll have to see I suppose.

I can't just stay in here all day, I _could _but I don't think it would be wise. Lady Louise will be able to find me much easier here. So I stand up and leave my tent. We aren't allowed to go out alone anymore because of the threat of the Black Fang so I just stay around the camp. There's no sign of Lord Pent or Lady Louise, that's good news, for now. I see Canas in the distance and Lord Pent too. I quickly dive into a bush and almost have a heart attack seeing as Matthew is hiding in there as well.

"Well, Well, come to hide in the bushes too? Who are you trying to spy on?" he asks with his usual impish smile.

"...I'm not spying on anyone."

"Oh. So hiding then? From Lord Pent? Or perhaps Mistress Reglay?" Matthew asks, he seems quite interested in what I'm doing, why?

"...That's none of your buisness now is it?"

He shrugs."I'm a spy dear Erk. _Everything _is my buisness."

Why does he call me that? I suppose he wishes to irritate me, I believe he is succeeding. Maybe I should choose another bush to hide in.

"Ah, not talking today? Very well, I will talk," Matthew says.

"Go ahead if you wish."

"Oh I do wish. So, have you got your eye on Nino now? I hear she is quite a skilled magic user. Ah, I suppose I shouldn't be saying that... You aren't a womanizer like ...Sain," he whispers. I think he likes to talk even more than Serra which is saying alot.

"Oh, have you met...Jaffar yet? I don't really like that bloke much. Bit too...what's the word that eludes me? Ah, yes, murderous. For my taste. No, no, no Young Master is not too fond of him either I'm afraid. ... So, have you?"

"...I can't say I have met that...bloke as you call him," I answer quietly. Matthew really has some odd speech patterns I'll tell you. Sometimes he speaks like everyone else then he'll borrow someone else's words, crazy.

"No loss really. Doesn't talk much. Not at all actually. Oh well, I don't think I need him to speak though, even if it does make for boring spywork when I follow him."

Why must he talk so much? I almost wish Matthew would be a silent as this man Jaffar is supposed to be. _Hm, Lord Pent is go-_"GAH! What's going on?"

I must say, being dragged out of a bush by the collar of your shirt is not pleasant. I don't know who grabbed me until I look up from my vantage point on the ground and see it is the knight Oswin who's picked me up.

"Marquess Reglay's looking for you."

"Huh? Lord Pent? Why? Was it really necessary to grab me by the shirt Sir Oswin?" I ask, my heart is still pounding from the initial shock of being grabbed in mid though.

"Sorry. I can't say I thought to say something..."

"O-oh. Well...alright then. Thank you for telling me," I say once I regain my composure.

"And you, Matthew, you scoundrel, filling children's minds with nonsense!"

"Nonsense?It isn't nonsense! It would have to be not sensible to be nonsense and I assure you all my information _is _true," Matthew protested loudly.

"You shouldn't be talking about Lord Hector's feelings to other people!" Oswin replied, giving a warning glare to thief.

"...You only said not to fill children's minds with nonsense, which, by the way, I am not doing, not I shouldn't talk about Young Master."

"...I mean both!"

"Both what? Sir Oswin, you are a confusing man," Matthew answered with a sigh.

"Why don't you start acting like one then maybe I won't be so confusing to you."

"One of what? Both of what? Honestly, now I know where Young Master gets it."

"Ah...get out of here. I don't want to see your face again today," Oswin mutters to himself.

"Don't worry, you won't."

Matthew, the opportunist to the end, takes that opportunity to get out there. I am of course very confused by the exchange of words I have just witnessed. Still, I decide to get out of there even though I am running to my doom. Lord Pent will probably interogate me until I finally crack and make up some lie. Or I could tell him the truth, but I don't think so.

I am walking at a rather leisurely pace though I know I should be running to go find Lord Pent. I suppose I have started to lie to myself again, I am going crazy maybe. Or maybe not, who knows, I don't think one knows when one is crazy, they just are. Well, then what is wrong with me? Maybe I have bumped my head and now I am having a bout of temporary insanity but I still don't think so. I suppose we will see when I talk to Lord Pent. As I am walking I see a flash of red and look over. I'm not sure but I think I was hoping it would be Lady Priscilla. It isn't though, it's her brother Raven. Just the mention of that name...it fills me with anger and I suppose hatred as well. _It's his fault_...but I know that isn't true, if I hadn't been such a coward maybe Priscilla's answer would have been different. Or...it could have been the same. I'm just fooling myself and being stupid. Why must I think on things that are over and done with? I realize I'm staring at Raven a second before he looks my way. He gives me a cold glare but keeps moving. Damn him.

When I finally do find Lord Pent I am in a horrible mood and even worse is that he notices.

"You look angry Erk, any particular reason why?"

I shake my head. I don't need to burden him with silly things such as my jealous feelings toward Raven. Lady Louise is there too but she doesn't say anything. I'm glad...I don't want to be a burden to her either.

"Well, Louise is really the one that wanted to talk to you...I daresay she knows how to get what she wants eh?" Lord Pent says with a grin. She wants to talk to me? Oh dear...that can only mean one thing. She's heard.

I had hoped that Lord Pent would stay to at least make sure Lady Louise didn't interogate me too badly but of course once again, I shouldn't have hoped.

"I'm off then. Canas wants me to help him with something or other."

Now it is only me and her. At first she doesn't move or make a sound. I actually thought that she would just sit there until I told her what had happened, which I never would. Again, no such luck. It appears she was merely gathering her thoughts before talking, much like the calm period before a storm.

"I heard what happened with you and Priscilla Erk."

I just nod. If I say anything the onslaught of questions will begin sooner. Either way it will come.

"Do you feel alright? I mean when I thought that I hadn't been picked by Lord Pent to be his wife because of my archery skills well, let's just say I was...distraught. Of course I don't expect you to react like I did simply because you're more logical aren't you?" she says after a short pause.

"...I feel fine Lady Louise...thank you for asking..."

"Erk...you're like a son to me. I don't want you to hold back anything if you ever need to talk. Believe me, I _want _you to get upset and talk to me! Oh dear...that came out wrong didn't it?" she replies with a small smile.

"No...I understand."

"You act like Lord Pent you know. I don't think I like it. Now I will ask you once again...are you sure you're alright?" Lady Lousie asks.

Should I tell her? Should I speak about my true feelings? I don't know... but then I look at her face. She always said that if I ever needed anything I only had to ask and that no matter what she and Lord Pent would always be there for me so why can't I tell her? They're the closest thing I have to family but yet I don't even talk to them like they are.

"...L-Lady Louise...I-I don't want to be a burden to you or Lord Pent..."

She looks absolutely appalled that I would even suggest such a thing but smiles. "Of course. That's only natural. After all, we aren't your biological parents."

Is she trying to make me feel guilty? Somehow I don't think so but I remain apprehensive.

"...That isn't it...I- you and Lord Pent are my parents...as far as I'm concerned...I have no other family except for you."

Lady Louise runs over and immediatly embraces me. "Oh Erk, that is the nicest thing you could ever say to me!"

"...Um...Okay."

"Now then, tell me exactly what happened okay?" she says sternly.

I suppose I must give in now, she won't let me go until I do. I don't want to say anything because I'm not used to it and I don't want to inadvertantly start to cry or something but I have to tell her.

"...She said that she felt the same way I did...but...s-she's promised to some-someone else...I never said goodbye or that I wasn't angry with her even though I looked it...and now I fear it's too late."

"I'm sure Priscilla knows you aren't angry with her. Us women aren't_ that _dimwitted. I wish you could have been together for your sake and hers. I'm so sorry Erk," Lady Louise says and pulls away simply because she knows I'm uncomfortable being embraced for so long.

"Lady Louise please excuse me... I'm going to return to my tent now." I can't stand do be here any longer. If I stay, I know that I will make a fool of myself so I return to my tent.

I lay down on my bedroll and sigh. I don't want to read, or go anywhere, I don't want to sleep or eat anything so what should I do? Just lie here? But soon I find myself thinking of _her,_ how I can't seem to imagine not being around her or ever seeing her smile again. I had always assumed she would always be there, that I had all the time in the world to tell her my feelings, but it's was all an illusion. I've been so stupid... So I'll just lie here in the dark in a tent feeling quite sorry for myself.

All of a sudden all of the sadness of the whole incident hits me at once. I don't want to cry but I don't think I can help it. Why does it hurt so badly? Why can't I calm down and get myself under control and stop feeling so sad? The answer is simple, I'm human. All people feel emotions and have a sense of right and wrong I just fooled myself into thinking that when the time came that I would be okay, that I wouldn't be affected by things I thought to be trivial, like love.

I can't cry...I'm a student of Lord Pent, I don't cry. It's not allowed, it's just stupid. But if I feel that way...why am I allowing myself to cry? Hot tears run down my face. _I'll never see Lady Priscilla again, only from afar...her brother will never let me see her or talk to her again. _I'm not exactly crying loudly but I'm still ashamed and let my purple hair fall over my face. Maybe that will muffle the sound so that no one hears me. _Priscilla...why didn't I just tell you? Why didn't I tell you before your brother came back? I've always had feelings for you but I never wanted to admit it... I could have told you and maybe everything would be different. _

"It's alright Erk. Everything will work out eventually." It's Lady Louise. Did she follow me or was a louder than I realized?

I don't answer her but I do try to stop myself from crying now that someone else is here. All Lady Louise needs is a idiot mage that lives with her and her husband that is emotional. But I can't stop even when I try.

"You're so ridiculous sometimes Erk. Don't stop crying because you think you have to. You're only a child, you're expected to cry about these things. Alot of adults cry when someone they like can't be with them," she says kindly.

"...Lady Louise...I-I'm sor-sorry..."

She just laughs, "Whatever for?"

"For being like...this."

"See? Like I said, you are ridiculous. If Lord Athos believes I'm funny he should meet you you're even more humourous than I am!" Lady Louise cries but sits down next to me and gives me a sort of one arm hug.

I don't say anything. Why is she doing this? I know she and Lord Pent are like my parents but the way she acts it's as if I'm her own child. Perhaps I've been ignoring that though, she's always acted like this.

I've been blind these past years I think. Maybe it's because of my age that I just pretend to not notice things. Lady Louise has always been motherly towards me and Lady Priscilla has always been promised to someone else which is probably why she refused Lord Erik's request to marry him. Those thoughts don't comfort me much though, I still have Lady Louise and Lord Pent but Lady Priscilla is gone. I don't think she is ever coming back because I can't do anything to change anything.

I'm not alone, I never really was, but even though I have so many people around me who will take care of me I suppose that I will still be sad about Priscilla for a long time. Maybe forever. She was the first person I ever really loved and I still do but I suppose it is useless having these feelings for her. Why isn't there a happy ending like in the books children always read? _Because...this is real life. There's no such thing as a perfect ending..._

* * *

Well...'Tis over! It's all finished. Poor Erky though, I kinda feel bad. I know he's not exactly the kind of person to cry but he's sad so leave 'im alone:P Either way, I'd like to thank reviewers, my parents(it _is _their computer) and the academy...wait a minute...this isn't the academy awards! Ha ha, anyway, thanks for reading this and taking the time to review. I shall miss you all, at least until I make another fic that you read. coughfinalfantasy7cough. I bid thee adieu. 


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